Trump reveals that his entire campaign was April Fools’ joke; returns to vegan living and meditation

1 Apr

NEW YORK–speaking before a crowd of supporters today, Donald Trump confessed that, as widely suspected, his so-called “presidential campaign” was merely an elaborate stunt for April Fools’ Day.

“It wasn’t easy keeping a straight face for the entire last year,” said Trump, grinning broadly. “I think most of you knew I was just kidding, but I’d like to think a few folks took it seriously.”

Trump announced that “while this was fun, I’m relieved to get back to my true passions–veganism, meditation, and carpentry.” His immediate plans include putting more time into his many Habitat for Humanity projects and also spending some time trekking in Bhutan, visiting monasteries. “It will be good to get away from all the noise, and focus again on simplicity and inner peace,” said the erstwhile candidate, also revealing that he had given away all his money to charity.

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