Trump University settles lawsuits; will start offering PhDs in engineering

19 Nov

NEW YORK–after months of announcing that he would never settle the lawsuits around Trump University, President-Elect Donald Trump announced today that he would, in fact, settle for $25m.

“I’m disappointed not to be able to take our strong case to trial, but I won’t have time as President to fight the lawsuit,” said Trump. “In addition, I don’t want any distractions from our exciting new doctoral program that starts in January.”

Trump said that the university would begin offering PhDs in biomechanical engineering and aerodynamics. “As part of making America great again, we need to double-down on STEM, and Trump University is going to be part of the solution,” he explained.

There was some skepticism from accrediting bodies, who noted that no new faculty were being hired, meaning that the doctoral program would be taught by the former real-estate seminar leaders.

“How hard can it be?” asked Trump. “It’s not rocket science. Except for the aerodynamics one, I mean.”

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