Trump chooses additional homes in Boston, Dallas, Houston, and San Francisco

19 Dec

NEW YORK–responding to concerns that his continued residence in the middle of New York is disrupting life for the city, President-Elect Donald Trump today announced that he would be splitting his time between New York, Washington, and four other large American cities.

“I realize it can be a significant pain having the President-Elect living in the middle of a crowded city, due to security and other concerns,” said Trump in a statement released to the press at four o’clock this morning. “That’s why I’ve decided to split my time across six different cities instead of just two.”

Mayor Ed Lee of San Francisco said he was “not quite sure” who Donald Trump was, but said that he would be welcome in the city. He later called back to say that he had reviewed Trump’s financial disclosures and wasn’t sure whether the President-Elect could afford to live downtown.

“Maybe with a roommate, or in that tower that’s sinking into the dirt,” said Lee.

In addition to splitting his time between six different cities, Trump announced that he would also fly aimlessly around the country on Mondays and Fridays, landing at “whatever major airport looks nice.”

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