WASHINGTON–pressure mounted on United Airlines today after video was released showing flight attendants dragging a screaming Steve Bannon out of the White House and depositing him on Pennsylvania Avenue.
“In accordance with our standard procedures, when we realized that the Trump Administration had overbooked its senior staff, we started asking for volunteers to join the next meeting,” said United CEO Oscar Munoz. “When no volunteers were forthcoming, we randomly selected a handful of people to remove.”
“Unfortunately, the flight attendants showed poor judgment in how to remove the passenger from the White House,” continued Munoz. “No person deserves to be treated like that, although Steve Bannon comes pretty close.”
Press Secretary Sean Spicer declined to comment on the incident, other than to say “Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy, really.”