Tag Archives: California

Carly Fiorina worried that her vice-presidential campaign is not gaining traction

10 Jul

SAN FRANCISCO–Carly Fiorina’s vice-presidential campaign is struggling, with little attention from the media and fundraising problems, sources close to Fiorina say. The candidate herself is said to be “concerned” that she may not be getting enough traction to be elected in November.


“I don’t know what the problem is,” said a top aide, speaking on condition of anonymity. “Carly is a great candidate–she speaks well, her policies are well-thought-through, and she appeals to groups across the political spectrum. But she just doesn’t seem to be making the headway that we thought she would.”


Fiorina announced her candidacy for vice-president in late April, and garnered significant media attention for a few weeks, with many calling her announcement–before the presidential primaries were even over–“bold” and even “unusual.” Since then, however, her rallies have been sparsely attended, and few donors have lined up behind her.


“I’d like to support her,” said Paul Singer, a wealthy Republican donor. “But…sorry, what are you asking me about again? Is this a trick question?”

Sources close to Fiorina say that she is “coming to accept that she may not be our next vice-president.”

Sen. Dianne Feinstein defends CIA spying, except against senators

12 Mar

WASHINGTON—Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D—CA), one of the staunchest defenders of CIA and NSA spying, strongly criticized the CIA for spying on the Senate yesterday.

“What am I, an ordinary American?” fumed Feinstein. “You want to go listen to Joe Average’s personal phone calls, go ahead. But the Senate should be totally out of bounds.”

The controversy arose when it turned out that the CIA had accessed Senate staff computers, much as it and other government agencies have accessed millions of computers for years.

“Everyone knows I don’t believe in the right to privacy for regular people,” said Feinstein. “If they want to keep their own information private, then they should go get themselves elected to the Senate. But the rules should be different for me.”

Stung by the criticism, CIA Director John Brennan announced that he was changing protocols around domestic surveillance. “Unfortunately the nature of those changes is classified, though,” said Brennan, shrugging. “Sure wish I could help you.”

Shirley Temple dies at 85; sadly media fails to fully exploit tragedy

11 Feb

WOODSIDE, California—Shirley Temple, the famous child actress, died at home yesterday at age 85.

“It’s sad when anyone dies,” said Access Hollywood host Billy Bush. “But it’s especially sad when there’s nothing tawdry we can rub in the faces of our viewers, you know?” He sighed. “It’s just so upsetting.”

Upmarket media was equally upset. “There’s really no flimsy metaphor about society as a whole that we can use as an excuse to relate scurrilous gossip here,” said Sia Michel, arts editor of the New York Times. “There isn’t really any scurrilous gossip, period.”

Although Temple had been on a temporary 64-year hiatus from the film industry, she had started a comeback in the last few years, most recently appearing on the Red Skelton Hour in 1963, where she received generally positive reviews. “We had hoped for her to come back on the show soon, but then we found out Red passed away in 1997,” said her longtime agent.

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