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Chris Christie promoted from head of Trump transition team to Special Advisor Without Portfolio

12 Nov

NEW YORK–Chris Christie’s rapid political ascent continued today with the news that Donald Trump was promoting him from head of the transition team to “Special Advisor,” a post created especially for him.

“As Special Advisor to Donald Trump, I’ll have some of the most important responsibilities in his administration,” said Christie. “For example, I will be responsible for washing the team’s uniforms at home and bringing them back to school. Also, I’ll be in charge of keeping the locker room nice and tidy.”

President-Elect Trump called Chris Christie on Friday afternoon to give him the good news. “Chris, you’ve done such a good job running the transition team, that I want you to stop doing it,” he reportedly said. “I’m going to need you for the big stuff now, like handing out the little cartons of milk at lunchtime, and choosing the order to wake everyone up from nap time.”

Experts agreed that the promotion took Christie to even greater levels. “We’re really in uncharted territory here,” said Suzanne Baldrich, Professor of Made-Up Jobs at the University of Idaho. “Special advisor could mean anything, and Christie’s responsibilities just seem to keep growing. Just this morning we heard that he would be in charge of counting off the Cabinet when they come back in from recess and making sure everyone is there.”

Christie, shown here making sure that everyone is lined up straight before heading to lunch

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