MILWAUKEE–in the lead-up to tonight’s Republican presidential debate, the Republican National Committee has issued a list of approved questions which the moderators are permitted to ask.
The questions include the following:
1) What makes you so great?
2) No, really, you’re being too modest. Tell us more about how great you are.
3) You would obviously make a fantastic President. What else would you be really good at?
4) Are you worried America will become just way too great if you become President?
5) Do you have a website where people can donate or sign up to volunteer?
6) I think Hillary Clinton should be in jail for her emails or Benghazi or something. What do you think?
7) You look fantastic.
8) Sorry, did I forget to ask a question there? What question would you like me to ask you?
9) Ronald Reagan.
10) Sorry, I did it again. Um. What happens if too many people want to vote for you, and lines at the polls are really long?
Some RNC leaders expressed concerned that question #5 is a “gotcha” question, but after extensive internal debate decided to keep it in. “We need to show that we’re not afraid of anything,” said a spokesman.
For an exciting moment, we thought these were the actual candidates.