Tag Archives: Michigan

Michigan governor apologizes profusely for Flint water crisis, explains he “had no idea” white people lived there

27 Jan

FLINT, Michigan—Gov. Rick Snyder (R) today issued another lengthy apology for the unsafe water in Flint, explaining that his administration “had no idea that white people lived here, too.”
 

Speaking in front of reporters, Snyder vowed that he would not rest until the quality of the tap water improved and until “we figured out exactly how this whole fiasco came to be.”

 

Snyder said that as a result of preliminary investigations, it appeared that a staffer “had said that Flint was mostly populated by African-Americans, but when the meeting notes got transcribed, the ‘mostly’ was dropped, and we just went forward on that assumption.”

 

“Obviously,” said Snyder, “if we’d known there were white people in Flint, we would have acted much more quickly to rectify the situation.”

 

Snyder did note that copper is worth approximately two dollars per pound and lead is worth seventy-five cents, “but you people have been getting them both for free.”

 

  

Snyder went on to promise all affected residents a “really big” submarine sandwich as compensation. 

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