REDMOND, Washington—in a radical change to Microsoft’s business model, the company today released Windows 10 as a free upgrade.
“Instead of charging you $99 or more to mess up your computer and have to roll back the installation, we’re now going to do it for free,” said a Microsoft spokesman. “You’re welcome.”
Windows 10 replaces Windows 7 and 8. It includes new features such as mysterious crashes of Internet Explorer, a confusing new way of organizing your files, and a sort-of-but-not-really tablet-style interface.
“It also loads significantly slower,” said the spokesman.
According to industry experts, the company had originally planned to release Windows 9 late last year, but changed its mind when the product tested poorly in focus groups, apparently because all it did was cause your computer to catch on fire.
Microsoft “put a lot more design thinking” into the look-and-feel of the Windows 10 blue screen of death