Tag Archives: sebelius

Germany suggests Kathleen Sebelius run eavesdropping program

31 Oct

BERLIN—in a conciliatory gesture after several angry exchanges about US spying on her personal cell phone, Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany today suggested that Kathleen Sebelius, Secretary of Health and Human Services, could run the NSA’s eavesdropping program as soon as she finishes building the HealthCare.gov website.

“I think Secretary Sebelius is exactly the person I want trying to listen in to my phone calls,” said Chancellor Merkel. “It would give me great confidence knowing that she was running all US spy technology.

“Whatever,” said Sebelius, taking a quick break from soldering together two wires. She explained that if she could just get a few more wires connected, then the HealthCare.gov website would probably be up and running again.

Further attempts to contact Sebelius’s office were unsuccessful. Initially, one of the tin cans could not be located, and shortly thereafter the string broke.

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