Tag Archives: thailand

Thailand tells democracy it’s “not ready to commit to a long-term relationship”

22 May

BANGKOK–explaining that “it’s not you, it’s me,” Thailand today broke up with democracy in a long text message.

“I hope u can understand,” explained the country. “I’m just not in a place where I can be exclusive with one political system right now.”

The breakup comes as no surprise to the couple’s friends, who noticed a deterioration over the last several months, culminating in a recent fight where Thailand claimed that democracy was “hanging out with the wrong kind of people” and democracy said that Thailand “thinks it’s too good for me.”

While Thailand claimed in the text that it was just going to “hang out by myself, listen to music, try to figure things out,” friends said that the country had already been seen sneaking around with

Thailand "might want to hang out later" with democracy

Thailand “might want to hang out later” with democracy


Protestors in Thailand outraged by prospect of free and fair elections

13 Jan


BANGKOK—the political crisis gripping Thailand deepened today as protestors shut down the capital, blocking major intersections and shutting down offices around the city.

“This government has no legitimacy,” said Nitithorn Lamlua, one of the leaders of the protests. “Convincing victories in fair elections can’t change the fact that I’m really angry.”

The government has scheduled early elections for February which it is widely expected to win, given its continued popularity among the Thai populace. Protestors, however, are demanding that the government respect “people power, especially the 30% of the people we represent.”

The White House expressed its “grave concern” over the instability in Thailand, which experts said indicated that President Obama was considering “any and all options,” up to a mild rebuke and possible cancellation of Pad Thai Thursdays at the staff canteen. 

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